sigh

i just want to erase everything

but i cant stop seeing your face

your probably already moving on 

yet why cant i stop looking out my window 

thinking about you

missing you

the end

well the day dreaded and waited for the whole year, has finally come.  i cant say i was surprised or shocked, i knew the moment i started talking her today it would be the end of us. no matter how hard i tried to convince myself that everything could be fixed, my mindset couldn't be changed. I'm just ....filled with the emotions of sadness, anger, everything. I don't know what to feel. She said she believes that we can still be friends, but she knows nothing of what i went through, what i had to put up with, what i've sacrificed for her. i guess she really didn't understand me at all......she never did. 

Right now looking at the computer screen so many thoughts are just flowing through my head. 

Why did she even choose to be with me? 

Did i just waste a whole year waiting for someone who i thought loved me?

Did i fall in love with the wrong person? 

Did her sister really convince her to be against me so easily?

Am i really just meant to be alone?

Can we really be friends and pretend none of this ever happened? i really don't know if we could ever go back to the way we were. i just have soo much hatred, anger, fukn everything towards her and even more directed to her sister. I just don't think I'd be able to hold all those emotions  back at the sight of her but i know i'll have to try my best to. i really did love her after all, its the least i can do to repay her for all the happy times we were together.  

i guess we had a good run its a shame it didn't last until the end. but thats life for you, full of disappointments one after the other, but its how we deal with them that defines who we are and who we become.

from our first kiss, to our last goodbye. im going to miss you heaps connie, farewell

contun is no more