Well i have to say, it has really been a while and after reading all my previous posts I kinda see how much i've actually changed in the past few months. Things didn't work out too well with me and her, and i ended it the moment I knew we no longer had a future together. I'm actually quite astonished just how much my mindset has changed, just how differently i view everything now in comparison to how i saw things after my relationship ended. I have to admit it actually affected me so much more than i thought it did.
Back then I was always too clingy i reckon, too easily affected by other people, too easily influenced by other people. The idea of a girlfriend was always something i held so dear to me. I always wanted someone could turn to when i was in trouble. I always felt like i needed a girlfriend so i could feel at ease. But that's simply just the fear of being alone taking control of my mind. Hell is all i can say to describe this period of my life where self hate was a prime emotion that ruled most of my days.
Right now my mindset is simply uni, my future and friends. Girlfriends .....hah I really couldnt care anymore, to be honest i reckon they're just a waste of time. Don't get me wrong i'm not turning gay or anything its just at this age for me i believe, i dont need a girl in my life.
I'm glad i dont have to think about having to spend my time worrying whether or not my partner is happy or not.
I'm glad i dont have to spend my whole night talking about useless things to my partner when i could be studying.
I'm glad i don't have to worry about arguments and fights that are caused by nothing and having no other choice but to apologize.
I'm glad i don't have to apologize for things that aren't my fault.
I'm glad i don't have anymore dilemmas taking up my mind space.
I'm glad i don't have to face the eyes and tears of jealousy.
I'm glad i don't have to wake up tired from phone calls that go for half the night.
I'm glad i don't have to face situations where i feel unloved.
I'm glad that I AM FREE.
Simply what i believe is that everyone will find the one who is right for them the moment they stop looking. Whether that is true or not i really don't care. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship and i bet the person who's right for me is thinking exactly the same.
everyone goes through hell
life isnt about how hard you fall
ITS ABOUT HOW FAST YOU GET BACK UP
its been soo long since i've felt soo at ease
