*shrugs*

i just don't know what to write anymore, everything I'm feeling, everything thats pushing me down is just so indescribable.  I'm beginning to feel more and more worthless as the days go by. I'm getting angrier and just more frustrated with everyone and at myself. It's becoming harder and harder to put on the happy image and pretend that I'm fine when everything isn't. I hate this feeling, its completely destroying me from the inside. sigh.... talking to my friends about this would be completely useless, seriously what can they do. It's not like they can take away my emotions with the snap of their fingers. Sometimes i just wish i never existed, all this shit is just too much of a burden to endure. What is wrong with me? i never used to be like this before. I hope its not because of the break up coz then that's just pathetic. ARHHH thinking of her just makes me soo fukn angry. One fukn year, ONE FUKN YEAR!! i gave up one year for her only to be shown that she didn't give a shit. I remember she said she wanted to be friends but i don't think i can be friends with someone as heartless as her. After re reading this it kind of makes it obvious I'm not over her just yet ...sigh. Why the fuck are these feelings coming now, why not when we actually broke up. Its fuckn bullshit.

Someone asked if i would get back with her if she asked me to. As ludicrous as that idea is, i really wouldn't know what i would do. I still love her and all but i don't think the connie i love is even there anymore. But then again such an idea is just laughable.  

and thats my vent for today